I made the choice to end it today.
So today you broke up with this chapter of your life, and it doesn’t really matter how many nights you spent paralyzed and exhausted and hopeless while you were in it because now that you’ve made the break, the unknown seems just as paralyzing. But not exhausting, and not hopeless, and ultimately, today is the furthest you’ll be from that unknown ever again if you just keep moving.
I know that you’re scared. I know there are moments of fear where your stomach drops out and the part of you that needs control and safety and a clear path is sobbing and trying to redirect you back. Just hold that part of you, okay? When that place of fear overtakes you, comfort it. Acknowledge it, welcome it, curl yourself around it, and then gently let the part of you that feels powerful and light and confident and secure take the wheel and drive again.
I know you crave validation from others, but I also know how much that can confuse you, slow you down, and take you away from listening to what your mind and heart and gut are telling you. So don’t seek it out so frequently, and let the drought teach you to take ownership for your choices, and to be your strongest champion. Let it show you that you don’t need approval or blessings from others, even those closest to you, to do what feels right. Not when you know yourself as well as you do. Not when you take ownership of your choices, your actions, your words, and your life.
You have such a gift, and you can own that now. It’s in you, and you don’t need anyone else to help you share it with the world.
Even when you feel the fear choking you, and it’s screaming at you to turn around, to give up, that you’re not good enough or smart enough or brave enough or enough to move on, lean into it. And then give yourself permission to connect with your passion again, that thing inside you that lights you the hell up, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense to anybody else. It’s not for them. It’s for you. Give yourself permission to feel that, and then take your action.
Don’t overthink this. You broke up with something that was breaking you down. Holy shit, I’m so proud of you, and I know that this was the first step in creating me. I can’t wait to meet you.
I love you.
See you soon.